There's no combination of words I could put on a back of a postcard..

I will never forget.

I will never forget what you brought me. You probably didn't realise that, right ?
I met you when I was hopeless, I thought I was a "desperate case" and you made me think I could be special, just for one person. But you were exactly the kind of person I wanted to be special for.
It's been more than two years and I cannot imagine who would I be by now if I continued to be the girl I was, with her dreadful and tortured mind.

I shared almost everything with you. My happiness, my wishes, my weirdo side, my projects, my tears and my fears. I shouldn't have.
In my opinion, that's my biggest mistake. I should have been strong enough to keep them for me, in me.
Our perfect special relationship became a destruction, for both of us. I was too anxious, too nervous, too peculiar. An unstable girl.
It's been two years you entered my life, and even if it wasn't always good or clear, I had you in my mind, very close to me.
We both shared some parts of our lives, but I probably told you too much. You knew too much, you knew me too well.

Sometimes, it's like you were/are the only one capable of understanding me without any judgement, I wasn't too special or weird for the entire world when I was with you, I had my own place, my own role.

I can't put words on our relationship. I don't even know what kind of message I'm trying to transmit here.

It's just that.. There is something unaccomplished between us and I just want you to realise that I wasn't using you, I've been completly honnest and you could see the girl I was/am.
But we needed this end, we needed to start something else and I was hoping you wouldn't take me out of your life. But it happened.

I can't force you to be friend with me and I can understand I'm unbearable.
But please, please, never doubt : you changed me. Life appears differently. You made mine kind of a good movie and now the film is over.
You were the kindest person I could met and I've been lucky. My most beautiful moments. My most cheerful days.

Everything needs a real end, even us.

I will never regret.
I will never forget.
Thank you, for eveything.

Ginger Potter.

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

I am anxiety.
I'm not anxious, no.
I am anxiety. My entire body and my mind are anxiety.

Sometimes I feel like my heart is jumping out of my body, and it's really, really painful.
You know, it's as if it wasn't possible to feel anything else than tension, fear and apprehension in there.
No more positive or lovely feelings. No more reason, anxiety lays down what you have to think or do.
You can't control anything. Your mind is lost, your body doesn't respond anymore.
Breath is hard to find.
Everything seems so blurred, so messy.

Here we are.
ANXIETY.

But you know, you get used to it.

It's not always as horrible as it sounds because you learn to deal with it, to feel it come and to be prepared to face it.
But sometimes I'm not strong enough. Sometimes I feel like it's an endless fight I can't win. It makes me feel so weak.
Because yes, in my opinion, it's an endless fight. But if I try harder and harder, maybe I'll be able to lead this "war". The only thing I have to avoid is to become hopeless.
Nobody can do anything with no hope and you know, by keeping it, you'll be able to go through anxiety but also quite everything else.

Nevertheless, I admit it : I envy all those people who are not under this everyday pressure. You know, those persons who do whatever they want, whenever they want because they're no afraid of the consequences. Or maybe because they're confident with them, their choices.
For so long I wish I was them, and sometimes I still find myself thinking how my life would be if I could live free from this feeling.
But I can't. And I'm not free. I will never be free the way I want but it's ok.
I learnt to accept, and to go on with it.

I just want you to understand one thing : you need to accept. Yes you're anxious. So what? You're also joyful, sportive, talkative, charismatic, full of life, an artist or whatever. This is not your only characteristic and if you can say "Yes, I'm anxious !", you'll have achieved something great and you will be free to expose your other sides to the persons around you.

Acceptance is the key, positive thinking is the way to follow.

(I don't know why did I write this article because I haven't any tips for you. When it happens to me, I'm powerless. I just try to be as positive as I can, to go out, to watch a GOOD movie (not something depressing, please, you need to cheer yourself up), to eat some comfort food and to relax myself. It doesn't always work, but that's life and when it occurs... Please be patient. It's getting better, all the time.)

And you, are you anxious?
What are your little tips to fight anxiety?

Ginger Potter.

"Pink clouds for grey days."

Hi !

I'm sorry, I have been very busy and I didn't post anything since 3 weeks I guess.
I was in Spain with some of my (best) friends, and then I came back.. To leave again ! Yes, I'm leaving tomorrow, with my mum. We're going in Bulgaria for about 2 weeks.

I'm losing my mind, because first, I came here to share a music I absolutely love to listen to relax, to escape.
It's not recent, not at all, but it's always good to keep your "classics" with you.

Bon Iver - Flume 

What's your opinion about this song ? Do you like Bon Iver (his voice is amazing, don't you think?) ?

What's your favourite song/kind of music when you're stressed?

I want to discover new artists, let me know what are your "must-have in your Ipod" !

Post-scriptum : Here's a cover I've been loving for weeks. Simplicity and softness dwell in her.

Eva Gonnet (lesjoliesfleurs) - Flume

Ginger Potter.