Sunday, 11 August 2013

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

I am anxiety.
I'm not anxious, no.
I am anxiety. My entire body and my mind are anxiety.

Sometimes I feel like my heart is jumping out of my body, and it's really, really painful.
You know, it's as if it wasn't possible to feel anything else than tension, fear and apprehension in there.
No more positive or lovely feelings. No more reason, anxiety lays down what you have to think or do.
You can't control anything. Your mind is lost, your body doesn't respond anymore.
Breath is hard to find.
Everything seems so blurred, so messy.

Here we are.

But you know, you get used to it.

It's not always as horrible as it sounds because you learn to deal with it, to feel it come and to be prepared to face it.
But sometimes I'm not strong enough. Sometimes I feel like it's an endless fight I can't win. It makes me feel so weak.
Because yes, in my opinion, it's an endless fight. But if I try harder and harder, maybe I'll be able to lead this "war". The only thing I have to avoid is to become hopeless.
Nobody can do anything with no hope and you know, by keeping it, you'll be able to go through anxiety but also quite everything else.

Nevertheless, I admit it : I envy all those people who are not under this everyday pressure. You know, those persons who do whatever they want, whenever they want because they're no afraid of the consequences. Or maybe because they're confident with them, their choices.
For so long I wish I was them, and sometimes I still find myself thinking how my life would be if I could live free from this feeling.
But I can't. And I'm not free. I will never be free the way I want but it's ok.
I learnt to accept, and to go on with it.

I just want you to understand one thing : you need to accept. Yes you're anxious. So what? You're also joyful, sportive, talkative, charismatic, full of life, an artist or whatever. This is not your only characteristic and if you can say "Yes, I'm anxious !", you'll have achieved something great and you will be free to expose your other sides to the persons around you.

Acceptance is the key, positive thinking is the way to follow.

(I don't know why did I write this article because I haven't any tips for you. When it happens to me, I'm powerless. I just try to be as positive as I can, to go out, to watch a GOOD movie (not something depressing, please, you need to cheer yourself up), to eat some comfort food and to relax myself. It doesn't always work, but that's life and when it occurs... Please be patient. It's getting better, all the time.)

And you, are you anxious?
What are your little tips to fight anxiety?
Ginger Potter.

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